Re-Parenting Yourself As You Parent Your Child

By Kobe Campbell

When I hit "order" on my Time-In ToolKit, I was ecstatic. Something that would help my husband and I be more intentional in how we were parenting our two-year-old? Yes, please. As both a therapist and a mom, I was excited.

I imagined a peaceful, serene home where my child felt loved and I felt confident to manage any of the curveballs that might come our way.

And then our ToolKit arrived, and I watched on as my initial excitement morphed into fear.

I hadn't even started using the tools yet, and I was already doubting myself.

"You are a trauma therapist!" I said shaking my head, working hard to dismiss the fear of failing that gripped me. Yet there is was ... fear. 

Fear of doing something new. Fear of not doing it right. Fear of not being enough.

Once I named it, the power my fear had over me started to fade. Slowly, my breathing returned, as did the excitement I felt when ordering our kit.

"This is going to be helpful," I remember thinking as I opened the ToolKit's Digital Manual and started to read. It was then I realized the truth behind what Generation Mindful is fond of saying in many different ways in the quotes they feature on Instagram.

This parenting thing? It's not all about my child --- it's about me and my emotions as well. 

As I started using the Time-In ToolKit to help my son learn about his emotions, I began to re-evaluate how I was showing up for myself.

With every "time-in" my two-year-old and I took together (instead of putting him alone on the steps to scream and cry), it felt like I was re-parenting myself. But this time, with compassion.

Re-Parenting

If the idea of parenting differently or changing the culture in your home fills you with fear, as it did for me, I invite you to join me in remembering the following:

1. We can offer ourselves the same love and compassion we want to give our kids.If managing emotions is hard for us as adults, just imagine how hard it is for our children.
2. It's healthy for our children to see us fall; that way they get to watch us pick ourselves up again.
3. If managing emotion is hard for us as adults, just imagine how hard it is for our children.

As you embark on the journey of raising a kind, aware, and emotionally present child, remember that there is a little one wanting to be parented inside of you, too. 

We are on the same journey that our children are on - living, learning, and growing as well.

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